Memories Burned into Firefighters — The Detroit Writing Room

Local firefighters share how the job can take a toll, but the first responders beside them provide the courage to face the hardest days.

By Elizabeth Townsel

Firefighters put their lives on the line multiple times during their career by being exposed to fires, smoke and chemicals. Despite the dangers, they continue to protect and serve their communities and families.

Their experiences often aren’t shared and given the thanks they deserve. Many firefighters work for decades — missing holidays, family events and other special memories.

The firefighting community goes through many life-altering events that would traumatize an average citizen. However, these events end up bringing the firefighters closer together and create a family bond.

Photo courtesy Southfield Fire Department

At 5-foot-9, Fire Inspector Lateef Townsel, my father, is a 40-year-old resident of West Bloomfield and works for the city of Southfield. Unlike when he started this line of work, he now has gray hairs in his mustache.

Before leaving for college he had a meeting with a chief firefighter. “That’s when I knew I wanted to become a firefighter,” he says. He went to a firefighter academy after coming home earlier than planned when 9/11 occurred.

“My first fire was an absolute s*** show,” he recalls. “I tripped, my helmet and my mask moved to the side.” He got separated from the other two firemen and had to find his way out on his own.

He’s learned a lot since then. “Because I’m not as young as the other guys, what I lack in physical abilities, I make up for in experience,” he says.

During his 20 years of fighting fires, he has seen and been through a lot. While driving through Southfield, he says he experiences post-traumatic stress disorder and often gets quiet passing by the place of an old auto accident scene.

His experiences with his coworkers have gotten him through many of his fears and brought them all closer. “I love that I’m able to learn more about and meet my coworkers' family and in a way become a part of it,” Townsel says.

Mary C. Luongo is a 64-year-old retired resident of Detroit. She is a mother to three, the wife of a retired fireman and a firefighter family friend.

She says firefighter families have been very welcoming to her and her sons during her husband’s time serving as a fireman. “Although I myself am not very social, when I have attended functions I’ve felt a sense of community. I have made lifelong friends with wives of my husband's coworkers,” she says.

When asked if she felt firefighters got the love they deserved Luongo says, “Firefighters often carry a mystique of ‘handsome’ and hunky and women love to tease them.” She adds, “If we are discussing love or respect from the city administration, I would say no. For years the firefighters have felt unappreciated and disrespected while at the same time cleaning up horrific traffic accidents, suicides and medical emergencies.”

Luongo feels her husband has been “detrimentally affected” by this line of work and that the firefighter “programming” to use dark or inappropriate humor when dealing with death or suffering is difficult for a “civilian” to understand.

Around 5-foot-10, my very creative godfather Christopher Coleman is a resident of Southfield and works for the city as a firefighter.

“I love being able to help people and change a negative situation and make an impact on people daily,” says Coleman, a 40-year-old father and husband. The part he hates, however, is the schedule. Coleman says he does not enjoy spending a third of his life at the station, especially because he has a family.

Everyone interviewed for this story had different views on one question: “How well does this job support you mentally?”

Townsel says the department does a decent job helping with mental problems the job causes by offering various programs. However, he finds it easier to cope by talking with those who saw what he did. “I prefer speaking with those who were by my side through these traumatic events,” he says.

Coleman says it’s difficult to help firefighters who see so much trauma. “This job isn't great at helping us deal with our mental health struggles because there is no solution or patch for any of the problems,” he says.

Coleman says an auto accident that killed a family on impact was the first “crazy thing” he saw on the job and the aftermath caused him and several other firefighters to suffer mentally.

More firefighters die from suicide each year than in the line of duty, according to the Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance. A 2018 report from the Ruderman Family Foundation also found that public safety personnel are five times more likely to suffer symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and depression than civilians.

Firefighter Lateef Townsel and his family. Courtesy Townsel family.

These men's lives have changed through all they learned on and off the job. They both decided that seeing adolescents get harmed or die is the most horrific and scaring thing they experienced in this line of work. For Townsel, it is student suicides. He discussed a call he got regarding a young girl who had to serve a temporary punishment and, instead of doing so, made a permanent choice to end her life.

He now teaches his children that if they aren’t OK they need to speak up and that taking your life is never the solution to your problems.

Being a first responder changes your view on many things, such as driving, your city and the way you live. This job will also change your view on family. The brotherhood these two firemen alone have experienced is phenomenal and inspiring. Firefighters are there for each other to celebrate life milestones such as buying a new home, promotions, births of children, retirement and when a firefighter is laid to rest.

So, if the firemen do not have the respect they deserve from their city, you can guarantee they’ll get it from their firefighter family.

If you or a loved one needs help, call the suicide and crisis lifeline at 988.