You're Not in a Relationship. It May Be Domestic Violence

The issue of domestic violence gained attention in the 1970s during the influence of the Women's Liberation Movement. It’s still a problem even though it is a federal crime.

By Nicole Santos

Since Covid-19 came around, life has been stressful and frustrating for many. With everyone locked up in their homes, everyone at some point went crazy. When you don’t have a job — or when you do have a job but for safety reasons they tell you not to come — you don’t have money, and when you don’t have money, you can’t buy or pay for things you need. I believe things like that make everyone mad and crazy, including men who may have hurt their wives or girlfriends.

In my opinion, domestic violence is a toxic relationship, not a relationship two people are in. “Domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Domestic violence can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic, psychological or technological actions or threats of actions or other patterns,” according to the Department of Justice.

Domestic violence is an issue not limited to women. The Centers for Diseases Control and Prevention reports that 1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men have experienced physical violence by an intimate partner. And the pandemic hasn’t helped. The National Commission on Covid-19 and Criminal Justice found that domestic violence incidence increased by 8.1% following the 2020 covid lockdowns.

Hispanics and Blacks are disproportionately affected by domestic violence related to sex offenses, according to New York City Police Department data from 2017-2019. Hispanics account for 42.6% and Blacks for 33.8% of domestic violence-related sex offense victims, while accounting for 29.2% and 21.9% of New York City population, respectively.

Those who have experienced domestic violence often live with trauma and health issues, which can be treated with therapy and medications. Others may seek help from a center or organization.

Toxic relationships are not good for anyone, including kids. Studies show that living with domestic violence can cause physical and emotional harm to children and young people in the following ways: ongoing anxiety and depression, emotional distress, and eating and sleeping disturbances.

Domestic violence is such a problem because males who abuse their partners often use violence to control their partners and make them afraid and feel that he is the one in control over things.

If you sense someone is in a domestic violence situation, you can help save others from living a miserable life by SPEAKING UP! Help the person stay away from the toxic relationship and offer resources. Do anything you can so that no more women get hurt by their partner.

Everyone deserves to be safe and have a happy life with someone beside them to laugh, cry, cheer, and love. At least that is what I believe. If you have kids and experience domestic violence, help them and help yourself by getting help and staying safe.

Get help by calling the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-7233.

Risk Factors for Intimate Partner Violence Perpetration:

Low self-esteem

Low education or income

Young age

Aggressive or delinquent behavior as a youth

Heavy alcohol and drug use

Depression and suicide attempts

Anger and hostility

Lack of nonviolent social problem-solving skills

Source: CDC